You kept me awake last night
It was something I heard in your voice …
Behind the words that you spoke
The holes in the conversation
The silence that I was strangely compelled to fill
Because you had nothing to say
It was just … different
I don’t know what was in your heart, unspoken
Or what dark demons were casting shadows around you
Wondering if you are loved, valued, needed …
Maybe you are reading my resistance to being controlled when you are still doing what has always come most naturally to you.
I’m almost 60 years old and averse to being controlled by anyone. My 34 years as a pastor have heightened my sensitivity to that and I am done with it. Just like so many others who need vocational changes or retirement. But the once accepted downside of the package has become intolerable …
But you are 80 years old and if you haven’t resigned yet, you likely never will. And that has to be okay with me even if it doesn’t feel good.
I kept you up more nights than I will ever know. You were always there for me and I was not always there for you. I left at 18 and never looked back.
But you never ever stopped … mothering. And I can’t begrudge you this even today. Forgive me for my insensitivity. We are at a point where I want you to know that its my turn … to try to give back. To tell you that there is nothing to worry about.
I am finding my way home … full circle.
Becoming a parent to a parent.
It is a difficult blessing.
And now I am getting a taste of my own medicine and savoring it … for you.
I love you Mom …
Approaching Grand Manan Island from the air.
Have you considered getting away for a weekend to focus on God’s direction in your life? Often the important considerations get pushed to one side in favour of the urgent. One of the things that I have noticed in the lives of those who experience turmoil is that they stop believing that they need to invest in themselves. Physical activity is diminished. Often the things that people are most passionate about, are ignored. For a period of time as Elaine and I were transitioning out of local church ministry, I couldn’t pick my guitar up and play it. I know of others finding their way through divorce, who never treated themselves to a meal at a restaurant or a new item of clothing. It is as though we lose interest in ourselves in those times when change is in the air.
You are worth the investment … both time and money dedicated to answering the important questions.
We would love to host you for a weekend in which there is enough free time for you to enjoy Grand Manan Island and enough structured time for us to explore your options and to extract what God may be saying to you. We’ll provide a place for you in our home on Grand Manan, some real good food and fellowship and some intentional interaction over the scripture, that may bring clarity to you when you need it the most.
As tentmakers, we charge for the service in order to produce a win/win scenario. For couples, we ask for $500 for three nights accommodations, meals and spiritual coaching.
Elaine and I will be on Grand Manan for the summer of 2015 and weekends are now booking, We can facilitate this as early as April and as late as October. If you are interested, let us know by filling out the info on the “Contact Us” page and give us an idea of the nature of your interest for our times together. We’ll begin to prayerfully build a template for our time together.